Theater professors and couple, Nicky Abbondanza and Noah Oliver, are going overboard as usual, but this time on an Alaskan cruise, where dead college theatre professors are popping up everywhere from the swimming pool to the captain’s table. Further complicating matters are Nicky’s and Noah’s parents as surprise cruise passengers, and Nicky’s assignment to direct a murder mystery dinner theater show onboard ship. Nicky and Noah will need to use their drama skills to figure out who is bringing the curtain down on vacationing theatre professors before it is lights out for the handsome couple. You will be applauding and shouting Bravo for Joe Cosentino’s fast-paced, side-splittingly funny, edge-of-your-seat entertaining third novel in this delightful series. Curtain up and ship ahoy!
Nicky was kind enough to jump at the chance to talk with us today. He’s here to talk about his favorite vacation. From the way Nicky describes the vacation, it sounds like one you have to see to believe. I hope you get a chance to see it. Read and enjoy!
Hi, Molly Lolly readers. Nicky Abbondanza here from Joe’s Cosentino’s Nicky and Noah mystery series. Thank you for letting me out of the books. It’s nice to stretch my legs. Since you can’t see me, I’m thirty-three with dark hair and long sideburns, green eyes, a Roman nose, and a pretty good body thanks to the gym at my college. Originally from Kansas, I am a true friend of Dorothy’s. There’s also one little thing to know about me. Well, it’s actually not so little. It’s caused either great horror or great joy for my dates. You can find out more about my not so little quirk in the books. Anyway, dating is behind me now since I’m a one-man man, and that man is Noah Oliver. Noah’s my partner in the theatre department at quaint Treemeadow College (founded by a gay couple, Tree and Meadow) in Vermont. He’s also my partner in solving mysteries, and in life. My handsome, sweet, and wonderful Noah and I use our theatre skills, including impersonating others, to figure out whodunit in our funny, theatrical, sexy, wild, and wacky novels. The clues and murders (and laughs) come fast and furious, there are enough plot twists and turns and a surprise ending to keep the pages turning, and at the center is a touching gay romance between Noah and me. Joe Cosentino says he writes the stories, but Noah and I are in his head telling him what to write.
In the first novel, Drama Queen, our colleagues in the theatre department are falling like stage curtains while I direct the college play production. In the second book, Drama Muscle, I’m directing the college’s bodybuilding competition, and bodybuilding students and professors are dropping like barbells. The readers of Divine Magazine voted Drama Queen their Favorite LGBT Mystery Novel, Humorous Novel, and Contemporary Novel of 2015. Drama Muscle won a Rainbow Award Honorable Mention. But I don’t have a big head. Bad choice of words.
Molly asked me to tell you about my favorite vacation. Drama Cruise takes place in summer as Noah and I go on a ten-day cruise from San Francisco to Alaska and back. We have amazing meals after amazing meals. And we see fantastic ocean views of glaciers. We also embark on land excursions to a tramway over the mountains, a totem pole park, a log climbers’ show, a frontier habitat, and a Native American village. Our cabin sports a private balcony with amazing views. My private view of Noah is even better! Since Noah and I are onboard ship, murder follows. We must figure out why college theatre professors are dropping like life rafts as I direct a murder mystery dinner theatre show onboard ship starring Noah and other college theatre professors from all over the world. Complicating matters are our both sets of parents who want to embark on all the activities on and off the boat with us. Martin Anderson, our department head, and his husband are also along for the rocky ride. As in the first two books, there are a slew of colorful, hysterically funny victims and suspects like the cruise director who talks endlessly about her glory days as a theatre major in college, the ship’s doctor who is looking for the secret of life, our muscular porter who wants us to adopt him, and the captain of the boat who insists he has seen the ghost of his former sea captain. The theatre professors are equally as colorful, including an alcoholic who believes he has seen a mermaid, a hypochondriac looking for love, a comic with a cat of nine tails in her closet, and a Shakespearian actor who can’t keep his hands off his volume of the Bard—or off anyone else.
And Noah and I have another vacation coming up. In Drama Luau, releasing in six months, I direct a Luau show in Hawaii, and muscular hula dancers start dropping like grass skirts. Once again it’s up to Noah and me to figure out whodunit and why. It’s a doozy.
So take your front row seat. The boat is leaving from port. Lights up and ahoy matey! Alaska here we come! And let me know what you think of my stories.
The stunning movie star’s long jet-black hair created a silky fan on the cold marble floor. Surrounding her were a crowd of guilt-ridden faces: her possessive husband and producer, her handsome young paramour and co-star, her aggressive agent and female lover, her jealous sister and stand-in, and her makeup man who knew all her secrets (and she knew his). A detective arrived on the scene, took one look at the murdered beauty, and fell in love.
“Nice job, people! Let’s take ten.”
That was me, Nicky Abbondanza, Professor of Directing at Treemeadow College, a white stone Edwardian-style private college in the quaint and picturesque village of Treemeadow, Vermont. And how did I become the director of a murder mystery dinner theatre show on a ten-night June cruise from San Francisco to Alaska and back? I spotted an online ad seeking theatre professors to present theatrical workshops for passengers on a cruise, culminating in a murder mystery dinner theatre presentation on the last evening. Okay, technically my colleague and fiancé Noah Oliver, Professor of Acting at Treemeadow, spotted the ad in an educational journal, but I applied for my department head and mentor, Martin Anderson (producing the show), my Noah (acting in the show), and me (directing). Martin’s husband, Ruben, came along for the ride.
Martin and Ruben are a sweet, elderly couple (don’t tell them I said that) who have been together forever and have two grown daughters. For our part, Noah and I are both tall, but the similarity ends there. I have dark hair, long sideburns, a Roman nose, and a pretty pumped body thanks to the gym on campus. Noah has exquisite curly-blond hair, sky blue eyes, a smooth build, and the most loving heart on land and sea. I am just a tad older than Noah—but what’s seven years? A lot when you are thirty-six and your lover is twenty-nine.
Oh, there’s one other little thing. Actually, it’s not so little. I have a thick nine-and-a-quarter inch penis—flaccid. Luckily, Noah is very open (pardon the pun) to my anatomical quirk.
After flying from Vermont to New York to San Francisco and waiting on endless security lines in the airports, the four of us got to the boat, where we waited on a long security line to come onboard. After unpacking in our cabin then getting a quick lunch at the bountiful buffet, Noah and I made our way through the sea of polyester, and somehow remained awake during the life boat drill.
Then we dodged photographers, dollar signs shining in their eyes like paparazzi at a closeted gay movie star’s mansion, and headed to our first rehearsal. As the dining room was occupied with guests eating lunch, we rehearsed in a nautical themed lounge onboard ship.
After an hour and a half of rehearsal, it was break time. While the other professors scattered like televangelists near an IRS building, Noah and I sat on a cozy loveseat next to a gas brick fireplace. Noah looked amazing in an aqua polo shirt and white pants, while I was a bit more toned down in yellow slacks and a cranberry hoodie. I took Noah’s soft, warm hand in mine, and said adoringly, “I can’t believe we’re here.”
Noah responded, “My first cruise.”
“My little virgin.” I kissed his cheek.
He looked out of the porthole and kissed the cleft in my chin. “The sky and the water are gorgeous.”
“I hope we get to the deck to see them.”
“We won’t be rehearsing all day, Nicky.”
“Don’t you need a break, handsome, young paramour character?”
Noah snuggled his shoulder into my chest. “I’d rather wallow away the minutes with my intended.”
We shared a warm kiss.
Bestselling author Joe Cosentino was voted Favorite Mystery, Humorous, and Contemporary Author of 2015 by the readers of Divine Magazine for Drama Queen. He also wrote the other novels in the Nicky and Noah mystery series: Drama Muscle and Drama Cruise (Lethe Press); In My Heart/An Infatuation & A Shooting Star, A Home for the Holidays, The Naked Prince and Other Tales from Fairyland (Dreamspinner Press); Cozzi Cove: Bouncing Back, Cozzi Cove: Moving Forward, Cozzi Cove: Stepping Out Cozzi Cove series (NineStar Press); Paper Doll, Porcelain Doll, Satin Doll, China Doll, Rag Doll (The Wild Rose Press) Jana Lane mysteries; and The Nutcracker and the Mouse King (Eldridge Plays and Musicals). He has appeared in principal acting roles in film, television, and theatre, opposite stars such as Bruce Willis, Rosie O’Donnell, Nathan Lane, Holland Taylor, and Jason Robards. Joe is currently Head of the Department/Professor at a college in upstate New York, and is happily married. Joe was voted 2nd Place for Best MM Author of the Year in Divine Magazine’s Readers’ Choice Awards for 2015, and has won many Rainbow Award Honorable mentions including for Drama Muscle. Upcoming novels are Drama Luau (fourth Nicky and Noah mystery) and Cozzi Cove: New Beginnings (fourth Cozzi Cove beach novel, NineStar Press).